French american dating culture
In fact, you may be experiencing attractions of deprivation, where you try to recreate the issues from childhood in your romantic partners.
, in which case the idea of French love has likely traumatized you.) I’m one of those who became a fool for the idea of Parisian romance, which is why I’m now living there and in a successful relationship with a native (after many failed attempts). (Hint: If you speak just the slightest bit of French, you gain points.
I tend to find these confused moments to be hilarious and endearing.
If I’ve learnt anything during my two years in Paris, it’s that there are certain measures, habits and role reversals we women might feel the need to adopt when playing the dating game with French men.
They grow up developing friendships with the opposite sex and in turn, develop more empathy and understanding of the opposite sex.
In American culture, there is a clear segregation of the sexes, boys play with boys and do boy things and girls do the same.
With European men, if there’s mutual interest, they keep seeing that person and don’t keep hunting for better options simultaneously. Nor will they freak out when discussions of commitment or future come up.
The dynamic may or may not move into a serious relationship, but they are not trying to gather other options or back up plans in case it doesn’t. Americans (both men and women) have been socialized to play games, to act unavailable, to wait a particular amount of time before texting back…
There are a set of ritualized rules that are abided by in American dating culture, and if you don’t play within them, you are labeled as desperate or needy or undesirable.
I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.
The below is a list of some of the themes and commonalities observed.